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07-Jan-2020 19:09

I'd book and paid for an apartment in Sitges thankfully and had an old mobile in the golve box.

The English guy who managed the apartments was great letting me ring Oz to sort out new credit cards - I'd been able to cancel the others from the toll road - and I was soon carded and cashed up and had a great time in Sitges.

Went there as a teenager on my first visit to Spain. Brian, the rental guy, told me the best clubs to visit in dress so I soon put the experience behind me. Alas I picked up a bug which has given me irritable bowel syndrome. It groans all day long, gives me the shits, and is a pain in the ass. He says it could clear up in a couple of months or last years. Still I'm alive and have lost 4.5 kgs - about 10 pounds.

He was quite a dish and I would have asked him to get behind me but he had an absolutely drop dead gorgeous Brazilian boyfriend. Just back from Myanmar doing some volunteer work amongst the Shan people. Makes one realise how lucky we are in the first world. My doctor has put me on the Fodmap diet: lactose and gluten free, no pulses - I live on Heinz baked beans - limited fruit and vegies. So on the plus side I look gorgeously slim and my gurly clothes especially the new PVC dress fit me sensationally. After a totally decadent few months in Europe and the UK I'm back in Oz looking twenty years older but non the wiser. Mein Gott is that the sweet gurl who first joined Chix a few years ago.

I had one recently tell me he had had two girls masturbate on cam for him and did I want to be the third: I told him it would be a waste of good sperm.

I am a slut not a bimbo: I know that Hungary is a country and Turkey goes between two slices of bread. However an opening line of "I'd like to fuck you senseless" will usually be met with the riposte "Why? Try thinking above your navels; at least for the first few lines.

I am articulate, well travelled, and even better read: I have a degree in psychology. It's amazing what it will do to your chances of having a fun conversation with me. I don't do cam to cam - except with special members of my choosing.

I may be the wrong side of 50 but I"m still on top of my game..

From the tip of my pretty painted toes to the top of my many wigs I am all women - not forgetting my very manly 7 inches. Years of walking have given me a divine derriere which is more than able to accommodate all shapes and sizes.

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